Sophomore.

Sophomore year has ended... 

It was incredibly long, but unbelievably short.

So many excited things happened to me and there are lessons that I have learned that I will never forget.

This year took me on serious adventures. 

Time to reflect....

HOMECOMING....

My first dance ever. I went with my best friend and had the absolute time of my life. We danced the night away.

DRAMA STATE...

This laid back insane trip was lovely. This was where I really grew close to some amazing people. We had crazy adventures in my room with a plugged toilet and Taylor turning the heat up to 89 and our total transformation into black women. :)

SALT LAKE...

This is a horrible picture, by one of my fondest memories this year. It was so fun to go around Salt Lake and being trapped on a bus because the wind speed was dangerous. :)

SPRING FLING...

This was probably my fondest memory of this year. I had so much fun with these ladies. Especially Caroline. It was a magical night! :)

CALIFORNIA...

I literally took maybe two pictures on this trip. Which is extremely disappointing. It was amazing. Disneyland especially. I met and bonded with new people and it was such a great experience.

These are just a few of the amazing things I did this year. It was so amazing. 

Now we'll reflect on a few amazing people... 

Caroline. She is a beautiful young girl. Through all her heartbreak and sadness she never fails to put a smile on my face. I think it is beautiful that we can go from tears running down our faces to laughing so hard that we can't stop. She is truly one of the least selfish people I have ever met and her greatest quality is the love and patience she has for other people. I love her more than any words could ever say. 

Jakub. The crazy foreign for Slovakia. We laughed endlessly with each other and did the absolute dumbest things. Haha. A smile automatically comes to my face with the thought of you. You were so mean to me but I know you always had good intentions because you wanted me to be blonde again. All I can say is I love you and America will miss you.

Taylor. She knows how much I love her. She is so selfless and loves everyone. She made me love myself and taught me what beauty really is. She is absolutely amazing. She is going to go so far. Australia, I love you.

Toby. You are so chill. So funny. So yourself. I never even noticed your accent. :) Our crazy memories with the weird Chinese people that serve us at Chinese restaurants. You will be missed, especially by me and Caroline but whenever I hear Sexy and I know it, I will definitely think of you. :D

Sadly, this year. The world lost one of the most beautiful souls. Alex Kidd. Her sister Nikki, is one of my closest friends. The few times that I saw her, she had a smile on her face. I have never been to a more beautiful memorial service for a person. The atmosphere was filled with love and warmth. Alex will always be remembered by every person she came in contact with. I know I will never forget her. She lived her life to the fullest and was a true example of what a friend should be. She will be forever remembered and forever missed.

I can't make you love me.

Turn down the lights

Turn down the bed

Turn down these voices inside my head

Lay down with me, tell me no lies

Just hold me close, don't patronize

Don't patronize me.

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't

You can't make your heart feel something it won't

Here in the dark, in these final hours

I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power

But you won't, no you won't

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see

The love you don't feel when you're holding me

Morning will come and I'll do what's right

Just give me till then to give up this fight

And I will give up this fight.

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't

You can't make your heart feel something it won't

Here in the dark, in these final hours

I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power

But you won't, no you won't

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't

Wow,

It's been quite a while since I've posted. I don't find blogging to be as much of a stress reliever lately because of how busy I am. First off, high school is hard. I never thought that going into a new school would be so difficult for me. I felt like I was forced to face some people that I have had a lot of anguish towards. The little things that they kept posting on their Facebook, the faces they would give me in the hall, and so much more would hurt me really bad. With theses things came the feelings that I had experienced a year ago. The ones that made it so I couldn't sleep at night. Then came math. This little thing made it nearly impossible for me to be happy. I didn't understand a single thing that was going on. I have never struggled in any of my classes before. I was so frustrated because I would look down at my homework assignment and have no idea what was even going on. It was hard for me to hold back the tears that I wanted to cry so badly during class. So many things were making me very unhappy. But after the help of many people, I finally feel happy again.

• Dakota: Willingly came and tutored me and sat down with me for hours on end, and helped me when no one else could. 
• Caroline: Always helped me escape and vent to her when I was overwhelmed and loved me for me. Let me listen to the songs in the car that I would cry to and convinced me that everything would get better.
• Adele: I know it sounds stupid that someone famous that I don't even know could help me, but it's true. Her music told me that how I felt was okay and that it's not wrong to be upset about something. There would be times where I couldn't feel better without listening to her music. And I love her for that. 
• Taylor: My foreign exchange student that I love with all my heart. The one that let me be the idiotic person that I am. We bonded over our love for Adele and our need to play the piano and guitar. But one thing that Taylor did for me was something I could never thank her enough for. There are so many. I don't think she even can imagine. The first English class we had together, she told me to do something that I hated. Read. I doubt she even remembers telling me that. But for some reason I tried it out again and fell in love. Everything I needed I could find in a book. To me it was like hearing a new song. One that you fall in love with, but the difference was that I could listen to this song nonstop for days. I love it. And I could never thank her enough.

There's So Much to be Thankful For.

Thanksgiving.

That word means so much more this year.

As I get older, it becomes much easier for me to recognize my blessings. But it also gets harder for me to appreciate them. I sometimes take what I have for granted, like many people. But I am slowly learning to look around and realize that everything around me is a sweet miracle. The life I have, my family, my friends, smiling babies, the beautiful season. 

There's so much to be thankful for.

This holiday season may be a little different for me. We found out my uncle has pancreatic cancer. It was a huge eye opener for me. I prayed and fasted for my uncle to be okay. I was scared of hearing how much "time" he had left. After he had a biopsy, we learned that he was in the 5% of patients that have the type of cancer that isn't fatal. It was a miracle. It was a huge relief for everyone. Even though what he has ahead of him will be far from easy, he will defeat this trial. I am so thankful for this. 

So not only this holiday season, but as time goes on, I am going to  try to always remember, 

there's so much to be thankful.

I encourage you to do the same. Everyday that our life goes on and the time we get to spend with the people is a complete blessing. My life is so amazing and there isn't one thing that I would want to change about it. The song below explains everything perfectly.

There's so much to be thankful for- Josh Groban

More NAILS!

Here are a few more nails designs I have recently done.

Nails

Yay,

Another nail post!!!

Haha.

I'll make this short and sweet.

This is rainbow crackle nails.

My Best Friend.

I seriously can't imagine my life without Devin.

The past two years my life has been completely different because of him.

He is a person that I can honestly always rely on.

He has helped me through some of the toughest parts of my life.

He never ever judges me and always try's to understand me.

He accepts my total weirdness and moodiness.

He gives good advice and always listens when you just need someone to talk to.

He goes camping with me and drives the razor when I don't want to.

He goes with me to clean even though it freaks him out too.

He takes me to kiwi loco and paints piggy banks.

He embarrasses me publicly because he knows I hate it.

He wins little minion teddy bears at walmart.

He lets me go over to his house all the time.

He takes me home late at night.

He is the best friend I could ever ask for.

:)

I highly recommend stopping the music at the bottom of my blog before watching this.
Oh and this is the other half of his present but I don't have any cd's to burn it on.
Oh and one last thing, that first picture was taken was taken 3 years ago!!

Newspaper.

Okay so anyone who knows me knows that I think naked nails are a eternal sin.

I know I'm a freak.

Haha.

Anyway. I follow this blog and this lady that does insane nails.

Literaly, insane.

So a little while ago I saw this one nails design that was newspaper nails.

I had to try it, but I never have newspaper or rubbing alcohol.

So months later my sister saw this girl that had them, so thank you Hails for going and purchasing the items needed!

So here is how it worked out, 

Pretty good and super easy, and definitively not the hardest nail design I've done.

Oh and please excuse the mess around the nails. I always wash them really good to get the polish on the skin off.

Here it is.

Remember.

Remember when we talked all night?

Conversations never ended in a fight.

Remember when it wasn't easy for you to let me go?

And when I was with you I was home.

Remember when I thought loving you wasn't just a dream?

You still would leave, but always promised me,

You'd come back, be back for me.

Where'd you go? 

Can you tell me, please?

Remember when time went by way to fast?

And when your stupid jokes always made me laugh.

Remember when we forgot what we lack?

And if I smiled at you, you smiled back.

Remember when I thought loving you wasn't just a dream?

You still would leave, but always promised me,

You'd come back, be back for me.

Where'd you go? 

Can you tell me, please?

Knock down the walls that you built for me,

Promise me it hurts to leave,

I'll build this love on possibilities,

And Remember to remember,

Me.

I can't remember if loving you is just a dream.

If you leave again will you promise me,

that you'll always be coming back for me?

Where will you go? 

Will you tell me, please,

That you'll remember the girl that loves you?

Remember to remember,

Me.

"Remember"

Tonight. 

I feel better.

I wrote a song.

It's called "Remember."

I don't necessarily think it is the best song I have written, but it has a lot of potential. I have been feeling so frustrated when I sit down to write because nothing is emerging from ideas that I have had. But tonight I felt like I successfully did that. This song is more for me than for others to listen to.  

It's about remembering everything you did with a person and lately the effect that this person has had on you has been less than positive. You are afraid that they have forgotten or are forgetting you. 

I really like the concept of it.

I don't know if I'll play it for anyone because I've realized that my songs can't change minds or make people realize what you want to say to them or want them to feel. Even though that is what a song is for me. 

But overall I'm just glad I wrote.

Maybe comment or tell me if you want me to do a blog post of the lyrics and explain them.

Peace out.

Bye Bye Braces....

Here they are!

Aren't they pretty??

Tomorrow.

Will be the first time in almost 3 1/2 years that I will be without you. 

You have not been consistent. 

I think it is by far time that I part ways with you.

But I really appreciate the ways you have made me better,

and so many other people's lives better too.  

You have caused me so much pain that I really have started to hate you.

I can't lie I'm going to miss the people you have brought,

like the lady at the front desk. 

She is nice.

And I think that I should thank you for helping me,

as hard as it is to admit that.

I bet you are wondering who I am talking about...

Not who but what.

My braces.

:) Did I getcha?

Haha. I get my braces off tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited! :) 

These were the only before pictures I have. Haha. 

They weren't that bad but I had major complications. 

I'll post pictures tomorrow!

Good & Bad News....

I promise most of it is good. 

Shall we start with good or bad?

Get the bad over with?

Okay.

So the bad. Just personal stuff. I'm missing some people in my life right now. One of them being one of my best friends ever. It's left me feeling a little more fragile than usual. I don't know... maybe I'm just sensitive. Oh and our picnik 12 month membership is up so therefore I cannot edit my pictures all cool-ish. 

GOOD NEWS NOW!!!

There is a lot.

1. Tonight I am going to give my blog a much needed make over! YAY! WOOHOO!

2. I have had a great time this summer with my family coming down. We had a reunion. Fun fun.

3. Gabriel is cuter than ever.

Check out the proof below.

4. AND THE BEST NEWS EVER!!!
I GET MY BRACES OFF ON THURSDAY!!!!

Magic!

Haha. Anyway, there is one last thing I want to say....

Devin, Thank you so much for being here for me when ever I have needed you. You are the best person in the world. You have helped me more then you could ever imagine, just by listening to me complain, cry, and everything else. I love you. :)

Life these daysssss.....

Is goooooood.

I like life.

 No, actually I really rather enjoy life fully.

I got my licence this week. WEEEEHAA!

 It's pretty exciting and I'm feeling a little independent.

Anywaysssss, the point of this post is not to annoy you with my excitement. It's to tell you about how I feel about this 4th of July. Hmmm. Usually the 4th isn't something I feel all warm hearted about. I mean, don't get me wrong I really enjoy loud burst of colors shooting up into the air and ruining you ear drums as much as any other person, but..... I recently watched this TV show called surprise homecoming. It's about soilders that have been sent over seas coming home without their loved one's knowing.

Wow.

I kid you not there was not 10 minutes of that show that I did not have tears in my eyes.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I am so thankful that I can live safe. I am so blessed and I have an absolutely amazing life and so many opprotunities.

Fathers Day

The person who has always made his little girls laugh.

The person who has always made his little girls feel like they were the most important people in his life.

The person who has always put family first.

The person who is has always been by our side.

My Dad. The person who has always provided a place for me to go. The person who has always made me feel safe. The person who can always put a smile on my face. The person who has taught me to work hard. The person who has taught me respect and gratitude. The    man that is the most excellent example of what a man should be. I love him more than anything. I hope that my husband will be exactly like you. I am so thankful that I get to hug him every day. 

I love you, Dad.

Fun fun.

I tried my hand today at editing pictures of myself very cool. I think I succeeded. 

I thought that this next one was pretty amaze. I absolutely love it! :)

Music....

I can honestly say that I've built my life upon music. I am almost always singing a song or listening to music. So I thought I would share with you some of my favorite songs.

• All time favorite song: Hands down, no questions asked, Mindy Gledhill- All About Your Heart. This song reminds me of everything good about the people in my life I love. I will dance to this song at my wedding and it will be the first song my children will ever listen to. I love it so much and words can not explain my love for it. It makes me cry, smile, and laugh because it is so beautiful. 

To listen to it click here.

• Favorite happy song: I'd probably have to say The Good Life by OneRepublic. This song makes me so happy. It is me and my moms song. :) I also want to travel a lot and it makes me excited to see the world. There is a line in this song that i love so much. "When you're happy like a fool let it take you over. When everything is out, you gotta take it in." For realssss. I LOVE it.

To listen to it click here.

• Favorite sad song: Breakeven by The Script. I always listen to this song when I feel sad. I think it captures perfect emotion when you've had your heart broken. It is absolutely amazing.

To listen to it Click here.

• Favorite love song: Faithfully by Journey. It's a classic. I love how it talks about struggle that comes with being in love, but how no matter what he will be with her! I LOVE IT!

To listen to it Click here.

• A song that I just love: Gotta have You by The Weepies. My sister introduced me to The Weepies and at first I absolutely hated them, then I heard this song. The simplicity and emotion of this song made me fall in love with it. The line in this song, "I won't be warm til I'm lying in your arms." AWH!!! By the way, the people in this band are married to each other. Freakin' cute. I love this song. 

To listen to it Click here.

• A song I have recently fallen in love with: So I'm absolutely in love with this show called "Platinum Hit." They write songs. Okay so this week they had to write a song about taking a road trip. Let me tell you. I cried when I heard two of the songs. Especially when I heard my second favorite persons song. Her name is Jes Hudak. Watch out world. She is amazing. LISTEN! I mean it has to be good when Natasha Beddingfeild says she want's to sing it. GAH! So good. Then my favorite person name Johnny Marnell won this weeks challenge. Oh and did I mention he and Jes are falling in love? YAY!!!! ahh, anyway his song was amazing too. LISTEN!!! If Jes & Johnny get married can you imagine how insanely talented there children would be. Okay, enough Whitney!

I think I am going to do a different post later about Platinum Hit. Hahahaha. Thanks Dudes. Peace out.

I don't know what to say.

My whole life I have always had a way with words.

 I've always been able to speak in front of people or strike up conversations with anyone. I've always been able to write stories and papers well, and I've always been able to write songs. But lately things have been different. I don't want to talk to people, I don't want to write stories, and I haven't been able to write songs.

 For the first time in my life, I don't know what to say.

It's been affecting me so much, especially when it comes to writing songs. I feel like I'm letting people down, but mostly myself. I keep trying to find explanations for why this is happening. I remember thinking when I wrote a song that it would fix friendships, make everything better, or make the boy that I have written so many songs for like me back, because that's what a song does for me. I'm not confident in what I am writing anymore. The last song I wrote makes me cry almost every single time I sing it but I feel like it means nothing to anyone else. Maybe that's why I can't write. I'm  so frustrated with all of this and I feel like I have no one to talk to and relate with. I miss the person I was a year ago. The girl that could sit down and write a song if someone said she couldn't. The girl that challenged everything through a song. The girl that was inspired by the people she was surrounded by. The girl that was going to be famous. The girl that knew she was good enough to preform on a big stage in front of hundreds of people. The girl that knew she could change the world with just her words. 

Where did she go?

It's been such a sudden change and it's making me so unhappy. I go to sit down at the piano or pick up my guitar and start to cry because I know what I need to do, but I can't. This isn't a sickness that can be fixed with medicine or the support of family and friends, and it's not that serious to other people. But it is to me. This blog is the only way I can get my words out, but to me it doesn't have the impact a song had on me. 

So all you might here from me for a while is nothing

Love

I remember the day perfectly. My Mom, Sister, and I went shopping. When we came home my mom went to the movies and me and my sister went to look at the view on the Buttes. When we got home there was a cop car down the street, my dad was gone. I had a horrible feeling in my stomach, like I knew something was wrong. I immediately said a prayer. About 5 minutes later my dad came into my house in wet pants and tears in his eyes. I asked him what happened and he hesitantly told me that the grand daughter of my wonderful neighbor drown in a canal next to my house. I was so upset, like anyone would be. I remember calling one of my best friends crying. He was so understanding, he told me everything would be okay. 

Well this little girls name was Preslee Sullenger. She didn't die immediately like we had thought, which was a miracle because she was in the water for almost an hour. For one week little Preslee fought for her precious life. When she was in the hospital, friends and family posted on their blog about Preslee's progress. I remember reading the post and crying because the family was so strong and the little girl pushed to live. I remember where I was when I read the post that she had passed away. 

Her story touched me. She did so much in the short time she lived. I felt so much love for this little girl that I didn't even know. When ever I am feeling sad or upset I read the posts in her story and it makes me so thankful for what I have been given. I have never experienced a loss like that. Today when I was reading her blog, this post really moved me. I encourage you to read Preslee's story, it is truely life changing.

We all love her and her family. They are constantly in my thoughts and prayers and I am so thankful that I have had the opportunity to offer them that. They are outstanding strong people. Click here to visit the family blog.

9th Grade.

Tomorrow is my last day. I have to say, I'm a little sad. This year was probably the absolute best. I really established my group of friends, I discovered my love for choir, and improved as an actress. This year really pushed me out of my comfort zone, sending the older friends that I hid behind to the high school. That was the hardest. I remember the first day of 9th grade I sat alone at the table in the commons. But I found great people I loved like Emily and Chayse. I had my very first seminary class (love). I went to Mexico and went to a beach, swam in the ocean, and rode a plane for the first time. Second trimester I had choir. :) I played the piano in front of everyone for the first time ever! I had decision making with Mr.Johnson (my favorite teacher!) took drivers ed which was pretty much the worst ever. I got my beautiful iPod for Christmas!  Tonya, Josh, and Peebody moved here. Hailey got excepted to college. And finally, last trimester. The best. The hardest. Most memories. I went into choir yet again and met my best friend Marci. I went to my first real party at Ashlee's, watched my brother get married, met Mindy Gledhill, got a car, and watched my sister graduate from high school. This year has been crazy, but so much fun. This is the first time I have been a little bit disappointed that it's going to be over. To all of the people that have made it so great, thank you so much. Iloveyou. :)

Time For A Picnik collage of my Favorite Moments of the Year!!!

P.S. Sorry it's small!